I tried freeing my dad from prison again this week, but it didn't work out. I don't get it. I really don't! I thought we were SO close this time.
We concocted a foolproof plan - I guess we just have bad luck:
To Catch a CrippleLo and behold, our plan didn't work!
1) Put Cisco into a dreamlike state so he can re-experience his own murder in an alternate timeline.
2) Pull him out of it as soon as starts having a stroke or whatever.
3) Talk him into being the bait for The Reverse Flash Formerly Known As Dr. Wells (hereby referred to as TRFFKADW).
4) Arm Cisco with a weak ass force field, a handful of pop culture references, and knowledge of his own death -- and then sic TRFFKADW ion him.
5) Hide behind some vague science equipment with my adopted dad (and future father-in-law!)
6) Hope TRFFKADW confesses to a 15 year old murder before he kills Cisco.
7) Have Caitlin Snowglobes (hey oh!) record the confession on our fancy S.T.A.R. Labs security system that we really hope TRFFKADW isn't also using to spy on all of us.
8) Hope we stop TRFFKADW before he vibrates his way into Cisco's heart. Or at least hope TRFFKADW kills Cisco before Cisco gives him a cheesy nickname.
9) ??????
10) Free Dad.
I don't know how Dr. Dickhead was a step ahead of us?? Maybe it was because we've been looking at him funny for the past few weeks. Or maybe it's because I hesitate every time he gives me a simple order. Or maybe it's because he's smarter than us. And better looking. I guess it could also have to do with the fact that he stays up-to-date with the times by READING A FUTURE NEWSPAPER EVERYDAY. Nah, that's probably not it.
Regardless of what tipped him off, we learned he had been watching us the whole time and knew exactly what we were up to. In the end he wound up thwarting our plan with one of our Guantanamo Bay detainees - the shape-shifter. I'm not sure why he went through the trouble of doing all that when he could've just murdered me while I slept and killed everyone else in a, well, flash. But he's a smart guy. I'm sure he had his reasons.
Still, I'm bummed we didn't get that confession. Because surely the judge would've believed that my mom's killer was actually a time traveler from the future who used Dr. Wells' to run super fast (alongside the grown up version of myself), kill her, and then frame my dad... as part of a decades long plan to create The Flash. Yeah, the judge totally would've believed that and let my dad go! Even if all of this was going down just a week after Eddie Thawne shot and killed a cop on video, but then was let go on account of a wild shape-shifter had done it.
Sigh.
It's a shame I'm so hellbent on playing by the rules. That I'm all about Justice. And what's more just than keeping an innocent man locked up for a crime he didn't commit? Reverse Flash would probably get dad out by doing something untoward, like destroying evidence or coercing testimony or something way more clever than I can think of. But I can't do that. It wouldn't be right. If I'm ever going to be a founding member of whatever that club is Siri was talking about, I need to set good example. Little Caesar's pizza must be beyond reproach!
In other news, I saved a bunch of people from a burning building this week. Go me!
Coincidentally, one of them was the Captain's fiance. I don't know what started the blaze and I don't know why it was limited to the 23rd floor of one random office building, but I made a super-fast windmill with my arms and put it out. I'll have to remember that vacuum trick; it's a good one.
Mostly I'm just glad I was able to save the Captain's soon-to-be-husband, especially considering he the Captain had just gone on a rant about how marriage is a bad idea. Boy would he have felt dumb if his man would've been burned to a crisp in that super random inferno.
I'm tired and I want to go to bed, but I guess I still need to talk about this whole Iris situation.
It's a pickle, you see. On the one hand I love her. I just feel like I'm supposed to. On the other hand, we haven't had a decent moment of chemistry in as long as aoneone can remember. But I still like my chances because an article in the future paper has the byline "Iris Allen-West."
My first thought was that my dad married her after I broke him out of prison. After throwing up a bit in my mouth, I had another idea -- maybe she would get the name for me? (Still, I'm going to leave my dad in prison a while longer just to be sure.)
In another huge coincidence, Eddie announced plans to propose to Iris. Considering I had seen the future newspaper, i wasn't much worried. But Joe hasn't seen it. So he and Eddie got into a fight when he asked for Joe's blessing. They argued, but both could agree on one thing -- Iris's fate was for them to decide, as she definitely isn't equipped to make this decision herself.
Hmm, I wonder how I won her over in the future? Maybe my dowry had a couple of extra sheep.
At any rate, Eddie has gone missing. And Iris's blog is filled with crazy stories about a super-smart gorilla roaming the sewers. So I had better get some shut eye.
- Barry
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